Singled Out: A Civilized Guide to Sex and Sensibility for the Suddenly Single Man or Woman

      Hardcover: 115 pages

            Publisher: Viking Press; 1ST edition (1981)

            Language: English

            ISBN-10: 0670647101

            ISBN-13: 978-0670647101

            ASIN: B0006E1WPW

            Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.7 inches

            Shipping Weight: 8 ounces

I first read Richard Schickel’s Singled Out: A Civilized Guide to Sex and Sensibility for the Suddenly Single Man or Woman in 1981. A few days ago I pulled the slim volume off my bookshelf and reread it in a single afternoon. What struck me, aside from Schickel’s witty and sometimes downright funny prose, is that although we’ve all packed on a few years since its first publication, myself especially, men and women, gay or straight, still have the same uncertainties and fears when faced with being suddenly single. The difference is that presumably along with our added years comes added experience, polish and a bit of dash if you like. This Schickel says will be invaluable in navigating waters that haven’t been sailed in a long time. In just one hundred and fifteen pages he reminds us how it is done, and better still how it is done well. For example, in Chapter 4 A More Realistic Assessment, Schickel writes, ‘The first thing to do is to remind yourself that you are no longer a 24-year-old idiot. You have probably acquired over the years since you were, a certain amount of wit and wisdom which, though lost on your sometime spouse [ longtime partner/lover/BF ], may very well prove interesting, even entertaining, to an intelligent stranger….’  

Who knew?

In the last chapter of this book A Final Confession, Schickel reveals that he has indeed found a person to love and be loved by. Here is how he expresses part of his feelings. ‘…when we are apart on our separate errands, we are armored by our knowledge that what we have had is safe, beyond hurt in memory, while what we may have yet together is fragile, entirely susceptible to the dangers of carelessness and indifference, and therefore to be cared for by the best spirits we can summon up from within us.’

It is my firm belief that anyone who can write a line that that deserves to be read. And so this is my recommendation, as I begin a new life.